Coffee - The Gateway Drug to Apostacy?

Is coffee the gateway drug to apostacy? Why do I drink coffee you ask when it's suppose to be so bad for you that a "prophet" of god had a "revealtion" that it shouldn't be imbibed?

I'd like to point out that after the WoW revelation neither JS nor BY stopped drinking coffee, beer, or wine. The WoW wasn't enforced at all until the 1920's.

But that has nothing to do with why I drink coffee. I didn't succumb to the lovely aroma of coffee at work one day. Nor did I succumb due to peer pressure. It was recommended by my doctor when I was 14. I have asthma. This was back when a rescue inhaler for maintainence was the standard. Coffee would help me breath better on a day to day basis. Coffee? Really? The caffeine and theobromine in coffee both mimic theophyline, a drug used to treat asthmatics. But coffee is bad for you! It was easy for me actually to set aside this mindset because I perfer to breath. It is a proven fact that coffee drinkers experience 1/3 less asthma symptoms than non-coffee drinkers. If for some reason, I am caught without my inhaler and feel an attack coming on 2 cups of strong coffee with stave it off. I've been known to hit a Starbucks and get a large cup of coffee and 2 shots of expresso and be on my way. Coffee is an asthmatic's best friend. Obviously, I don't recommend coffee over medication but it helps control symptoms and alleviate symptoms so I believe it is a valid addition to any asthamtic's daily regimen.

My parents, however, were a whole different story. Despite my father having medical training, they wanted to discuss this with the bishop who was a building contractor (read construction worker). Doing as I was told, I prayed about coffee while they made an appointment with the bishop. I don't remember the entire interview but THIS is what I do remember.

Bishop: Did you pray about this?
Me: Yes, bishop I did. And the answer I received was to follow my doctor's advice.
Bishop: You need to pray again because you are being counseled by the devil.
Me: No, I am not.
Bishop: You are wrong Sister Coffeenow and your soul is in peril if you listen to this advice. Your doctor is the instrument of evil through tempting you to drink coffee.

Of all things for the devil to be worried about. One poor 14 year old girl who was recently diagnosed with asthma. He felt he had to JUMP INTO my doctor in order to lure a "good" girl over to the side of evil by dangling coffee in front of her.

So what did I do? Did I choice the "right"? I did. I chose coffee. I just didn't let my parents or the bishop know about it. I would walk 2 miles to and from school every day so that I could stop and get coffee. When they started making me go to seminary, it became a walking home only habit. When they gave me a car so I could start driving my little sister to and from seminary and school, I had to drop her off first before getting coffee because she was a little tattler.

Yes, coffee was the gateway drug to my apostacy. The entire experience made me question why my parents would consult a lay clergy with no medical background about a medical issue. It made me question why I was told to pray but then told my personal revealation or the inspiration I received was not from god but from satan. It made me question the wisdom of consulting an untrained lay clergy on anything. It made me question why god would want me to suffer when there was such a simple solution.

This would not be the last time this bishop would interfere in my medical health.


Holly Noelle said...

Great post. Love the coffee bean background.

Please tell me you are a coffee expert and you'll do posts on which coffees are the yummiest and that sort of thing.I've got 8 years of coffee drinking to catch up on!

Richard H said...

Be sure to check this video. You will love it.

CoffeeNow said...

That was hysterical. One coffee = swagger.

CoffeeNow said...

PS... You'll notice I added it to my links :)

swearingelder said...

Coffee has lots of health benefits in addition to the one you mentioned (which I'm sure has helped you greatly). And recent research has shown that it helps reduce the risk of Type II Diabetes, Parkinson's, dementia, and so on.

Shouldn't a "prophet" have foreseen this?

C. L. Hanson said...

Great story!!!

It's true that it only takes a little bit of this sort of nonsense to get you started questioning (then doubting).

Melanie said...

yes, coffee is wonderful. My Dr. in Utah told me that caffeine would help my chronic sinus issue. Indeed it does, when I gave up my TR I started on what I've always wanted to do..drink coffee. I have a whole lot less sinus pain now.

postmormon girl said...

Love that story! I have a particular fondness for coffee. My first date with my husband, he took me to a local coffee-shop that is un-paralleled in quality --- they ethically source their beans, roast their coffee on premise, and put their baristas through months of training before they are even allowed to pull a single shot of espresso. I had no idea coffee could taste so good! And so, in one night, I was introduced to a love for fine coffee and a lifetime partner, all at once.

David said...

I LOVE Coffee! It is impossible to describe the absolute joy that comes from an incredible cup of coffee, a wonderful slice of pie and conversation with a dear friend. The joys of which will elude those who hold to the rod of BS rather than grasping firmly to a French Press filled with a good quality bean roasted to perfection; dark of course (French or Italian...yes).

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